A messy state of affairs
by CrimsonGear
Summary: "Antonio, I'm going to kill you!," Caterina growled under her breath. "Oh come on! It's not like this was my idea!" "Fine, but either way I need something to strap up under San Angelo." "You drug my mother and I'll gag her." Caterina just laughed in reply
1. Prologue

In a strange twist of fate, Caterina finds herself facing a difficult choice where she may just lose everything she's worked for...Her choice? Saying 'I do' to Antonio de Borgia!

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><p><span>Prologue<span>

"W-what?" Caterina blinked, sure she had misheard.

"It's not 'what' it's 'pardon'," corrected the slightly huffy woman on the monitor. "And I said; we wish for a treaty between Hispania and the Vatican, the easiest way to finalise this is a marriage of the eldest children, namely yourself, Miss Caterina and our son, Antonio," the Queen of Hispania reiterated as though she were talking to a small child.

"Do you not concur, Miss Caterina?" asked the King of Hispania.

All eyes were on Caterina and she wanted nothing more than to fade into the chair she sat in so no one could see her. Risking a glance sideways towards her brothers, Caterina noted fear in both sets of eyes, though her older brother, Francesco, was doing a much better job of hiding it.

Caterina swallowed dryly. They were in a precarious position; it was clear she was being given the choice, but if she didn't accept it could lead to much trouble with Hispania, a major political player and unfortunately one with a lot of power both outside and within the Vatican – a case in point being her proposed partner was a cardinal and the Minister of Vatican Public Relations… which also controlled the media... damn. The flip side was if she accepted the grand headache she and Francesco shared would have a greater standing within the Vatican and would abuse the fact they were married to never leave her alone. Not to mention these types of treaties usually only became properly settled when children were born. Caterina shivered at the thought, not only did she not find Antonio even remotely her type he was self-centred and cowardly – definitely not traits she would want a child of hers to have, that said she didn't _want_ to be married _or_ have children!

_Damn it all to hell!_ She thought as she sighed in resignation to her duty.

"Um… no Your Highness, it isn't that I don't… I… I just find it a little sudden…" Caterina said weakly.

"Oh please! I'll bet you've been dying for a man to call your own since you were a babe! And the sooner the better, you're not getting any younger after all~," commented the Queen tactlessly.

Caterina's eyebrow twitched behind her monocle in irritation – so that's where Antonio's presumptuous nature came from!

"Begging your pardon, but I'm twenty-six, hardly 'old' by anyone's standards and marriage hasn't crossed my mind since joining the church."

"Well then it's a good thing we have everything in order for the wedding in a month's time," answered the Queen as though Caterina had already agreed.

"A… A _month_?" stammered Francesco uncharacteristically.

"Yes, although there are a few details that will require our presence in Rome, but I have no doubt you can accommodate for them all~," the Queen answered a tone that was begging to be challenged, though none of the late Pope Gregorio's children said a thing.

"Well unless you have anything to add I shall arrive in two days to commence the last of the preparations," the Queen announced cutting the video feed.

"…Somebody kill me now," Caterina whined placing her head on the table so her long golden locks hid her face.

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><p>Ahem... yes, little random but I have writer's block and for some reason this pair's grown on me so I thought I'd force them together for everyone's amusement~<p>

Please review, they make me happy~


	2. Chapter 1

Yo! Presenting the next installment of madness with Antonio as the victim of my torment~!

Big thanks to Aperio for reviewing!

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><p>As soon as the Cardinals Meeting came to a close Antonio Borgia rushed from the room a politely as a man of his rank could, which was a brusque walk until he was around the corner before legging it to his office, all the while ignoring the looks he could feel from the other cardinals, most likely wanting him to explain what had just happened.<p>

"Mother, why did you do that!" he cried placing his face in his hands – this had to be the worst situation possible. Well, no, he could have been told he was marrying one of the other suitors his family had selected – most he knew were either ugly, snobbish or had several men on the side, and in some cases all three. Antonio shivered and shook his head to dispel the various images that had formed.

He had to find a way of salvaging the situation before Caterina concocted a highly elaborate hair-brained scheme to end the wedding – or kill him, whichever took less effort. _Probably killing me_, Antonio thought with a sigh.

It wasn't that he didn't like Caterina – on the contrary, she was everything he looked for in a woman, minus being a member of the clergy and owning enough manpower to level an entire country if she wished. She was beautiful, intelligent, strong-willed – perhaps overly polite and hated his guts, but hey, if he could show her his more serious side, maybe she'd lighten up. Or… Still hate him…

Antonio cursed in his mother tongue before sitting behind his desk, the faint hope that work would distract him causing him to leaf through the day's paperwork. Unfortunately fate was not on his side today.

"What the hell!" Antonio exclaimed reading an article that was one of the topmost documents. Racing out into the main room Antonio yelled at his staff, "What on God's green Earth is this claptrap, why is on my desk and has it gone to print? If so I want that idiot's head on a pike," Antonio grumbled the last part under his breath as he glared at the shocked priests and nuns.

"What are you talking about, sir? That article was printed this morning, you gave the order yourself via letter," a brave priest stated, retrieving a note from one of the many desks and handing it to Antonio. It did indeed appear to be his handwriting and contained his signature, but Antonio knew he hadn't written the note.

"I wrote no such thing, it's a forge," Antonio said shaking his head, "At any rate, get it out of circulation – and for the love of God, make sure Cardinal Sforza doesn't get wind of it!"

"Get wind of what exactly, _Cardinal_ Borgia," a beautiful, yet dangerous voice rang out across the room. "If it's this article about our 'happy announcement' I'd rather you just explained what this drivel is about?" Caterina Sforza said from her position leant against the doorframe, her voice laced with silent anger.

"C-Caterina!" Antonio stuttered, panic crawling into his voice."I-I swear to you I didn't know anything about it until just a moment ago! Argh, will you people hurry up and track this thing down and destroy it!" he demanded to his still silent staff, which immediately jerked and hurried about in a bustle of activity.

"I'm serious, Caterina, I wouldn't have written this and the arrangement was news to me too!"

"Then why did you run off after the meeting? It seems more than a little suspicious, Cardinal Borgia."

"What was I meant to do? You and Francesco were glaring daggers into my back like it was _my fault_! I-" Antonio cuthimself off, not sure what else to say, thankfully he didn't have to as a young nun interrupted the conversation.

"Excuse me Your Excellences, but we've uncovered the original source – from an analysis of the paper and ink used we concluded someone from Cardinal Borgia's family holiday villa must have wrote this – the paper is the brand found only used by Your Grace's family and the ink isn't exported out of it's area of origin…"

"Someone from my family…" Antonio mumbled, eyes widening as he came to a conclusion. "Curse that woman – she's making a media scandal of this AND undermining my authority!"

Caterina raised an eyebrow, "Who's undermining your authority?"

"My mother. She must have set everything up to fall into place. The letter arrived here after I left, so I wouldn't be able to touch it until I returned from the Cardinals Meeting, by which point it'll have circulated half of Rome if not further. This way it also looks like a choice where our supposed 'love' challenges church ideals-"

"And makes it look as though Rome is the one making exceptions, losing standing and looking to Hispania for assistance," Caterina finished, her razor-coloured eyes flashing. "How far did the article get?" she asked with a sigh.

"Too far for us to stop without arousing suspicion," a priest answered without looking up from a monitor.

"I suppose that means we need to pretend like we've been going out for a couple of years!" Antonio said with his usual brightness.

Caterina was silent for a long moment as she frowned at Antonio before stating, "I hate the cold, my favourite colour is turquoise, I prefer white gold to yellow and I am very private when it comes to my family – I'm sure you can make something out of that to sate the interest of people."

Antonio started before realising he needed to reply, "Ah, um – I like Summer too, I like green, don't like jewellery and I have an extended family of three older brothers, two younger and three sisters – their names aren't important, you can look them up if you think it'll help."

Caterina nodded, making a mental note of the conversation and left the room and its stunned inhabitants to their own devices, still none the happier about her current situation.

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><p>Urgh... I had to upload this on my ipod... Not fun. Anywho I think I added the right spacing and stuff, if not I'm sorry and please tell me so I can fix it!<p>

Well 'til next chapter!


	3. Chapter 2

When Abel read that morning's newspaper, he was certain he'd awoken in an alternate dimension – there was no way what he was reading was correct. Caterina, his beautiful (albeit a smidge creepy) boss, the little girl he had known for twelve years who had made it obvious on several occasions she had little interest in finding a good man to settle down with, "Is marrying that self-centred, egotistical demon priest? Oh Lord what on Earth did I do to deserve this!" Abel yelled at the sky as though he were expecting a great booming voice to answer him. Since said booming voice didn't call out to the white haired Father, Abel rolled the paper up and when to find out which crazed universe he was trapped in today, praying it wasn't reality.

"Um, Caterina? May I come in?" Abel asked knocking on the door to the Vatican Foreign Affairs Minister's office, curious as to why there was no one at the secretary desk.

There was a moment of silence where Caterina must have been discussing something because shortly after the blond beauty opened the door, a weak smile on her face.

"Come in, Abel," she beckoned opening the door further so Abel could pass her, though not before allowing Sister Loretta, the secretary for that day, past, the young nun quickly going to her desk.

Closing the door carefully behind her guest, Caterina then gestured for the priest to sit, preferring to lean against her desk herself. Abel took a seat on the sofa in the spacious room, watching his boss perch anxiously on the edge of her desk.

"Is everything alright, Caterina?" Abel asked, noting the small cracks in Caterina's usually carefully made up appearance. She was ignoring perfectly good and comfortable chairs; her slim fingers were curled into fists around the edge of the desk, her gloves concealing white knuckles from how tight her grip was. Abel also noted Caterina had been biting her bottom lip, though he commended the careful use of lipstick used to hide the fact from human eyes. "You look moments from becoming a nervous wreck," he noted, calmly waiting for Caterina to speak.

"So would you if your mother-in-law was a psychotic match-maker from hell," Caterina answered with a sigh, simultaneously loosening her grip on the desk. For one reason or another, she found Abel's presence calming as well as a small feeling of happiness that he'd come to check on her.

Abel blinked. "Huh? What do you mean 'match-maker from hell'?"

"That article you read was created by Cardinal Borgia's mother, Sofia de Borgia y Borgia, the Queen of Hispania," Caterina explained, pointing at the newspaper in Abel's hand. "Other than we are to wed in a month, it's a complete fabrication."

"Which brings me to my next question: why Antonio of all people? I didn't think you liked him much either…"

"The Queen of Hispania wanted to form a Treaty between the Vatican and Hispania the old-fashioned way by marrying off children and is my dislike for Cardinal Borgia that obvious?" Caterina answered raising a thin eyebrow in question.

"Only to one who knows you well – the first few times he called you 'honey' your eye used to twitch, I found it rather cute," Abel said with a shrug, chuckling. "Also a rather nice pay-back from when you told me the brat was going to be a priest."

"Well I couldn't exactly tell him to stop," Caterina sighed, referring to her nickname. "He's always so presumptuous – his mother more so."

"Ouch, hehe you sure know how to pick 'em, Caterina," Abel joked.

"I don't suppose anyone's scheduled a kidnapping attempt over the next two days? Depending who it is I might just beg to be abducted," Caterina stated, her lips curling into a wicked smirk. Abel snickered in reply.

"I doubt that would delay the wedding – from what I've seen of Antonio, if his mother's worse they'd have someone maraud as you and have him marry them."

"True, but I'd be able to avoid the farce of meeting the Hispanian monarchy."

"Pff. They can't be that bad. Tell you what, Caterina. When Her Majesty comes in two days I'll greet her with you – I'm sure we can get a rude joke or two in behind her back," Abel said with a bright smile.

Caterina chuckled into the back of her hand. "I'll hold you to that, Abel," she answered before planting a soft kiss on the priest's cheek. "Thank you."

~~~Come, sit, have a cup of coffee/tea/other liquidised substance. Not alcohol though. Too young to buy it… And oh look – turns out there's still some chapter left. Hurry up, hurry up, off you go now~~~

"A little showy aren't they?" Abel commented quietly from his position behind Caterina as the pair along with Caterina's siblings – Francesco and Alessandro – Tres, Brother Petros and Antonio, watched the Hispanian airship land. Size wise, the ship was bigger than those owned by the Inquisition, and so clearly larger than necessary for a single person and some servants.

"Well since I won't have the chance in a few seconds – I'll apologize now for whatever torture my mother places you under," Antonio mumbled to Caterina, hurriedly plastering a wide smile onto his face at the sight of Sofia de Borgia disembarking.

"Hola, Madre," Antonio greeted smoothly, embracing his mother and placing a chaste kiss of welcome on her cheek.

Being able to see her in full, Caterina took in the Queen of Hispania's full appearance; clothed in a fine silk dress, deep green in colour, with shoulder-length brown-turning-grey hair tightly braided over one shoulder, a stand of silver fabric weaved into the braid to weaken the aging affect of the grey hairs. Matching her garb to her kindly smile gave her an all-over sense of beauty and while Caterina felt she should be somewhat awed, the young cardinal instead was filled with dread that the effort used to portray Sofia would soon be applied to her.


	4. Chapter 3

Two chapters in one day - aren't you chuffed XD

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><p>And how right Caterina was. In the two hour drive from the airport, not once did Sofia remain silent for more than a minute. Caterina inwardly groaned – and she thought Francesco was bad; this woman had chronic verbal diarrhoea. Oh well, at least there were a couple of upsides; the woman did genuinely seem interested in the mechanics of a wedding and looked to be enjoying the madness Caterina had always thought planning one was. She also half-suspected Sofia had been planning for months before initiating the plan, due to how many things had already been taken care of: food, drink, guests, locations were all fully sorted and the majority of positions for the service were also taken care of. According to Sofia the main problem at the moment was clothing for the event – in particular, Caterina's dress.<p>

The other up-side to her current situation was she and Sofia weren't alone in the limousine – both Abel and Antonio were being subjected to the verbal display as well and were currently staring at the Hispanian Queen with expressions of mixed horror and awe.

"… White obviously, but the style is what is important; lace, frills, bows, mesh – there's so much choice and looking at your body over a monitor just wouldn't cut it. No, I had to be here in person to oversee this goes perfectly. Which reminds me – Toni have you proposed formally yet?" Sofia asked diverting attention for the first time in three-quarters of an hour to her son.

"Eh? Um, no Madre… I um, haven't even purchased a ring yet…" Antonio answered in a much more submissive voice than either Abel or Caterina were used to hearing from the young prince.

"Well that will never do!" Sofia cried in anguished disappointment. Sighing theatrically the Queen put a hand to her head dramatically and said, "I shall just have to add it to my busy schedule and acquire you a ring – perhaps Bertha would be willing to part with hers, she did always want someone within the family to have it…"

Antonio's eye twitched minutely at the mention of his great aunt, who was large, brutish in stature and had horrible taste in both male company and jewellery. The ring his mother spoke of, whilst grand and very costly, was ridiculously huge (or at least the garnet imbedded into the metal was), and simply wouldn't look right on Caterina's finger.

"T-that's not necessary, Madre. I've found a ring," Antonio lied quickly, "I simply haven't purchased it yet. I… I was going to this morning, but slept in by accident and I didn't want to miss greeting you at the airport… So I simply haven't had the chance yet! I'll go this afternoon, once you're settled into your rooms!"

Sofia looked at her son for a moment with narrowed eyes before breaking into a smile once more. "Excellent, Toni. You can take me with you so I may inspect the ring," she said brightly, happily accepting the lies – or calling them out, Abel thought grimly, seeing through Antonio's deceit.

"But are you not tired from your flight? Surely you must want to rest, Madre?" Antonio tried, smiling worriedly.

Noting that the two Borgias were fully absorbed in their conversation, Caterina turned to face Abel. "When he goes to actually look for one, please go with him and find something I would actually like," she mumbled quietly to her long-time friend, who nodded understandingly.

~~~I wonder if you guys even read me... I know I'm just a line break but still! Ah well, I can't blame you... Oh! I know! Hey peoples if you read me post a review with your opinion on AntonioxCaterina~~~

Eventually, Antonio had managed to convince his mother that she could see the ring after he bought it giving him all of two hours to get into Rome, find a ring and run back to his office. She wanted to see the ring by dinner, which meant he needed to leave now if he had any hope of avoiding more of the woman's wrath by being late.

"Abel, for the love of God – hurry up!" Antonio yelled at the bumbling priest, uncharacteristically tense.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" Abel cried in return, pulling his jacket the rest of the way on as he quickly clamoured into the car. As promised, he was accompanying Antonio on his search for Caterina's engagement ring; half-glad to be away from the aging Tyrant of Doom that was Antonio's mother, half-terrified by Antonio's worry and seriousness.

"Are you sure you're alright, Antonio? You seem worried and haven't even cracked a joke since Her Majesty Sofia arrived…" Abel said, concern lacing his voice.

Antonio sighed. "In honesty? I'm terrified. My mother can be a rather viscous woman when she wishes, and I don't mean in physical brutality. She'd ruin both Caterina and I if we don't fit to the mould she's set us. If we don't dance on her strings properly it means our end," he said gravely.

Abel paled slightly. "You… You're not serious are you?"

Antonio looked Abel sternly in the eye. "Deadly. It happened to one of my brothers. He tried to marry for love – a young girl from Catalonia – when mother found out she was furious. Set about creating rumours that the girl was actually a whore amongst many other unpleasant things. When my brother tried to defend his love and stand against my mother… She disowned him, claiming he'd been soiled by a vampire and no longer had the authority to bear the title of his lineage. She's a terrible woman, Abel and there's only so much I can do against her."

The two left the car as soon as it reached the shopping area of Rome. Quickly disappearing down a street in normal citizen clothing, Antonio bee-lined for the nearest jewellery store with Abel following close behind.

"Then why didn't you accept Miss Bertha's ring – it would certainly lower your stress level," Abel pointed out.

"Because that particular ring is both big _and_ ugly. It would look like Caterina were flaunting the fact she's getting married – and suggest I have no taste in rings," Antonio added, a spark of his usual self-centred, cheery nature shining through. Antonio was dressed in black denim trousers and an unbuttoned, white short-sleeved shirt, with a light blue T-shirt underneath. Abel on the other hand was donning grey pants, a purple shirt and was wearing a jacket on top.

"This is ludicrous," Abel mumbled as they entered the shop. There were three main desks in a squared-off horseshoe around the edge of the room, each containing two glass cabinets full of rings, varying in colour, shape, size and price Abel noted, feeling his wallet having a heart attack at even the cheapest of the rings. Thank goodness he wasn't the one paying for the ring.

Antonio anxiously checked his watch. "We've an hour and a half, Abel."

Abel nodded to show he'd heard as he moved over to look at the first of the cabinets. "Do you think your mother will be expecting something like Bertha's?" he asked trying to make small talk with the frantic cardinal.

"I hope not, as long as it's expensive I don't think it'll matter – she really just needs something to boast about, price should do it. Ignore the tags for now though, we can deal with the money side later."

Abel sighed and looked back at the rings – most were overpriced and tacky, even then, the ones that weren't Abel knew Caterina wouldn't really like.

"What about this one?" Antonio asked, gesturing to a ring in the fourth case.

Abel grimaced as he read the engraving. "'For the one I love'? Really?" He gave Antonio a look that clearly said 'no'. "It's also the wrong metal. She told you she likes white gold right?"

"Oh… Yeah…" Antonio mumbled.

"The engraving's a good idea though," Abel said in an attempt to cheer Antonio up. "Try looking for an odd or interesting shape engraved into the ring, like leaves or something, not love sick messages that scream 'dependency issues'." Antonio chuckled in reply and nodded, brightening slightly.

It was about an hour later in their sixth shop that they finally hit the jackpot.

"This one," Antonio said pointing to a ring in one of the upright glass cases against the walls.

"Hm?" Abel bend backwards slightly to work the cricks out of his lower back as he moved to join Antonio. Looking at the ring he broke into a smile. "That's more like it~."

"And with twenty minutes to spare," Antonio said with a grin as he called the shop assistant over. "We'll take that one, please." Five minutes later after Abel had given the size they needed the two men were in a car back to the Vatican celebrating their small victory.


	5. Chapter 4

Well, due to the randomly large number of reviews I got the other day I'd just like to make everyone aware of my terrible internet connection at the minute. I can't log onto anywhere but my email at home right now, so chapter updates will be a little slower than the rate I actually finish them – for example I've had this one finished since last week but no net access to put it up.

Just to note – I looked through gemstones and picked out the one I liked, I had no idea how ridiculously rare it was until I googled it. Also since if memory serves since Albion uses 'Dinar' (which is currently Iraqui currency) I figure most places in TB do too – otherwise I'd have used Lira (old Italian currency) for the price. I also added a bit since the Dark Land is completely desolate in TB.

Side note: Paraiba Tourmaline is mined in Brazil and South Africa – I don't know how far Carthage runs since the novel maps only show the top half of North Africa. A two carat piece can go for $10,000-$15,000. Antonio's ring is a one carat with an unnatural shape. Also if you're curious it's worth 2138237.70 Lira. Ye-ouch… still 1 Euro's about 2000 Lira so I suppose it's not too bad…

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><p>"Well?" Antonio asked timidly as Sofia looked at the ring he and Abel had selected with a frown.<p>

Eventually the woman lowered the ring and placed it carefully back into its velvet lined box. "Which stone is used?"

"Paraiba Tourmaline, it used to be mined in the Dark Lands, so there's very little of it left."

"Price?"

"One million, six hundred and fifty thousand Dinar," Antonio said remembering Abel's exclamation upon reading the asking price.

Sofia was silent for a moment. "Well done, Toni. Although I do wish you'd have gone higher than a carat," she said passing the ring back and gesturing for Antonio to leave. "You did well for a couple of hours searching." Antonio tensed at the doorway. "Don't worry, I'm not angry," Sofia drawled, a twisted smirk on her lips, "Though I do expect you to make a heart-felt proposal tomorrow at Morning Mass."

Antonio swallowed around a lump in his throat, "Y-yes, Madre. Of course." With that, Antonio opened the door and quickly departed, determined to put as much distance between the two of them as possible. _And people wondered why I wanted to study in Germania! _Antonio thought before suddenly changing direction from his rooms to that of Cardinal Medici's.

~~~Oh yes! I am read! Woohoo! Ahem. Big thank you to the following reviewers! tatsumi-hime, jdfgkjho, sakura, akkaku and sara-chan - virtual cookies to you all~~~ (... Great the line break's hyper... Just what I need.)

"Excuse me, Your Excellency?" Francesco's secretary said, opening the door just enough to poke her head through.

"Yes, what is it?" the cardinal demanded looking sternly at the young girl.

"Cardinal Borgia is outside; he was wondering if you had a moment?"

"Tell him I'm busy," Francesco said with a snarl at the thought of having to entertain the brat – the boy was a complete headache!

"I'm sorry, Francesco, but this is a rather important matter," came the soft voice of Antonio as the younger cardinal pushed the door wider so Francesco could see him.

Francesco sighed, "Look, as much as I would like to help you with whatever your problem is – I really am busy."

"No you're not. You're playing solitaire," Antonio said calmly, not bothered by the fact Francesco was trying to get rid of him. "I can see the cards on your desk."

Francesco growled slightly. "Alright fine. Take a seat. I'd like to finish my game though," he said before giving the secretarial nun a glare that said 'you tell anyone I was playing solitaire – you're dead!'. From the worried look on the girl's face, it appeared she got the jist and quickly shut the door once Antonio was properly inside the room.

"So what's the problem?" Francesco asked with a sigh once Antonio was seated in the chair before his desk. Medici didn't look at Antonio, instead he looked at the cards on his desk, looking for a place to put the card he had just drawn from the deck.

"I have to propose to Caterina tomorrow. I was kind of hoping you could help me with what to say."

At this Francesco's hand slipped, causing him to knock two of the neat piles into disarray, even sending some off of the desk either onto the floor or Antonio's lap.

"W-what? How on Earth do you assume I can help!" quickly remembering who he was talking to Francesco schooled himself. "I mean… Aren't those things meant to be heartfelt, personal things? Besides that, it's arranged, you don't need to propose," he said raising an eyebrow.

"That story was changed a few days ago as you well know," Antonio answered gathering up the cards in his lap and placing them on the desk. "The story now is that Caterina and I have been having an affair until recently, which whilst easy to believe is utter tripe. I don't know all that much about her, so I figured I'd look for someone who might."

"And you thought me?" Francesco asked dubiously. "What about that Nightroad idiot, he's usually the one guarding her if the robot's unavailable. I suspect he'd be of more help to you."

"Perhaps, but Abel told me he was leaving for a mission tonight, so I can't talk to him before Morning Mass."

"And that's important because?"

"Because that's when I am to ask for Caterina's hand." Ignoring the fact Francesco was staring at him and was clearly struggling to find a polite way to phrase his reply, Antonio bent and recovered the rest of the fallen cards and begun correcting the piles for Francesco.

"In front of the entire clergy?" Francesco managed at last, Antonio nodding as the first of the columns was restored.

"I just don't want to screw up and make it anymore awkward than it has to be."

"I suppose you could always ask her what she'd like you to say," Francesco suggested as Antonio finished fixing Francesco's game. "… Thanks."

"No problem. As to your suggestion… Tempting, but knowing my luck, Madre will be on the prowl or at least her various spies would be... Do you really have no ideas?"

"Do I look like I've ever asked a woman to marry me?" Francesco asked raising an eyebrow. Antonio gave him a look. "Ha, alright. Go with saying what you like about her – I wouldn't use memories unless you know something that would get her smiling. And I suppose be yourself?" Francesco said the last part as a question; pretty sure Caterina also thought the man's natural persona was a nuisance.

After a moment Antonio smiled, "Hehe~ Thanks, Francesco. I think I know where to go with this." He rose and went to the door. "Oh. Don't be worried or anything," Antonio added his hand on the handle, "But I think my mother may be intending to make you my best man. Just thought I'd warn you."

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><p>I assume Francesco knows about Tres, after all he has Duos Iqus… Also apologies, he's so OOC. Still, I never have liked Francesco so I'll probably just use him for twisted entertainment ^_^<p>

Also, I don't know why but I do see Francesco as the kind of person who pretends to be busy and is actually playing card games/chess/noughts and crosses.

Oh and sorry the chapter's so short - I'll try to make the next one longer!


	6. Chapter 5

Well as my computer was working and the little Antonio in my head wouldn't shut up - you now have the next chapter. Probably won't write the next one til February, don't quote me on that though it'll be up earlier if I give up on my history work (like last night).

*snickers* I genuinely thought my fic had been assaulted when I saw the review count – not even a day and the new chapter already had reviews~

Thanks to everyone who's reviewing – it's good to know there are other, more sane people than my friends who enjoy my warped humour and strange pairings XD

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><p>Abel yawned as he slowly made his way into the church. It was too early – ungodly even.<p>

"I get it's 'morning' Mass for a reason – but honestly, five A.M. is a time for sleeping not kneeling and praying!" he complained to Caterina, who was walking beside him.

"So sleep at the back, just put your head on the pew in front and look like you're praying," Caterina chuckled making sure no one heard her comment.

Just then someone barged past Abel, an incoherent ramble coming in answer to Abel's "Ouch, you could have said excuse me!"

Abel blinked, actually having been able to work out some of what the man had said, "'Heretic… Accursed blonde hippies… Dear Lord why me… Jump in a pit of vampires'… Clearly someone didn't get any sleep."

Caterina laughed, "Indeed – though you should have seen who it was."

"Hmm?" Abel raised an eyebrow before looking back and noting the man had been wearing cardinal vestments. "Wait. You're not saying-?"

Caterina nodded, "It was Francesco. I wonder if he's alright, his eye was twitching rather rapidly," she added with rare genuine concern for her elder brother.

"Apparently the poor soul was up all night cursing Heaven, Hell and anything in between – the rumour is it has to do with yourself and Cardinal Borgia, Your Eminence."

"Oh, Professor, I didn't realise you'd returned to Rome yet!" Abel greeted the Albion nobleman.

"I arrived shortly after you left – shame really I'd have liked to catch up with you."

"Professor, what is this rumour?" Caterina asked, cutting across Abel before he could reply.

"It's said that the young cardinal went to see your brother late last night, perhaps it scarred Cardinal Medici somewhat?" William Walter Wordsworth A.K.A 'Professor' answered with a shrug, "something about being Cardinal Borgia's Best Man I believe."

Abel paled, "Rather Cardinal Medici than me – actually, I'm rather surprised I haven't been properly roped into this yet, I'm technically a friend to both of you and I haven't been given so much as an invitation," the Crusnik added, a slight hint of indignation crawling into his voice toward the end.

"I wouldn't say that if I were you, Abel, you might jinx it," Caterina said with a sigh.

"You don't honestly believe that superstitious rubbish do you?" Abel asked.

"No, but talking as you are will no doubt get you 'roped into this'," Caterina said with a smile breaking away from her male companions and making her way to the front of the cathedral as was the custom.

~~~Hmm, the corner pannel does make this look rather sweet and canon-y. I wonder if the manga-ka ships AntonioxCaterina too? XD mangahere(dot)com/trinity_blood/v09/c035/31(dot)html ~~~

Antonio didn't take much of the service in that day, operating mechanically as he desperately ran everything over in his head, praying his efforts would end well.

He started when he realised people were filing out to leave. Moving quickly through the slight crowd, which was slow moving due to people kneeling and crossing themselves as they exited the pews, Antonio easily reached Caterina, lightly pulling on her arm to get her attention.

He got it too, as the woman whipped around, the scowl and harsh comment dying on her lips and turning confused as she studied Antonio.

"What is it, Cardinal Borgia?" she asked raising an eyebrow. Antonio didn't respond at first, gently leading the two of them to one side of the alter, though still within clear view. Antonio gulped as he felt eyes slowly turning onto him, watching with curious looks and heard the whispers of others pointing the two hand-holding cardinals out.

"…" Antonio felt his throat tighten, unable to speak (a rarity, but given the situation, who could blame him?). Gathering up his courage, Antonio steeled himself hoping that Caterina's answer would be heartfelt and true.

"Caterina… I know we are to wed soon, but… It doesn't feel right without doing this first," forcing his gaze upward to lock with Caterina's, Antonio felt his words die again. Nothing he'd thought of last night, or this morning for that matter, had felt right and the little that didn't sound too bad had already mostly been said, the rest forgotten as he looked into Caterina's eyes.

Perhaps it was a trick of the light or his imagination, but to Antonio, Caterina's eyes looked so unguarded it was almost as though he was looking at a small child who had been disappointed one too many times and really wasn't expecting much.

"Ha… Listen, I know you don't think much of me," Antonio whispered, his gaze falling to look at their entwined hands, "I know you probably think I'm a selfish jerk and you no doubt hate me. But…" Antonio tightened his grip slightly, and felt his voice grow stronger and more audible as he looked up again at Caterina's face.

"But I _do_ love you. I'd always heard rumours that you were the most beautiful cardinal in all Rome and I honestly thought it was all hog-wash… But when we met that first time… I don't really know why, but I was even more determined to race up the ranks so I could be with you, spend time in your presence… I know now I must have seemed like a complete goof – not to mention a complete _mentula_," Caterina scoffed lightly, a smile tugging at her lips. Antonio had whispered the word so she didn't worry that it may have carried to the tens of people who were staring at them. In fact, she'd half-forgotten them, slightly transfixed by the determined look in Antonio's eyes.

"I don't need you to reciprocate my feelings, just know they are there and everything I do from now on will be so I can see you smiling as you are now. Your position makes you constrained, so I want you to accept me, and know that you can say whatever you want – yell, cry, scream at me if that's what you want. All I ask is that you smile truly for me," Antonio moved one of his hands up to cup Caterina's cheek, "even if you only did it once a year or even less then that, I know that once I see it… I'll remember standing here and knowing there's no woman on this planet I'd rather be with."

Falling back to tradition, Antonio took a small step backward, pulling a small black box from his vestments as he did. Gently, he dropped to one knee, his eyes never once leaving Caterina's. "So now I ask this of you, my Lady. Will you do me the honour of being my wife?" As he asked this, Antonio pulled the box open to reveal the jewel inside of it.

Caterina felt her eyes bulge upon seeing the ring, but she couldn't help it. She'd stood still as stone through Antonio's mini-speech, questioning all of it and yet knowing somehow, that the man was speaking from his heart, not lines someone had forced down his throat, nor the cheap words he usually spouted. She gazed at the ring, remembering Abel mentioning it was well worth the obscene price, at Caterina had to admit she agreed.

The ring itself was formed from white gold, softer to look at than platinum and purer than silver, the ring had a simple design, with the only decoration the way the ring had been moulded so the shimmering blue stone within sat in the shape of a tilde, reminding her of the sea in Summertime. The metal was fanned out at the ends into five smaller strands that wrapped around the stone's edge in a vine-like fashion. Truly stunning. Coming back to herself, Caterina realised she needed to answer.

Widening her smile, Caterina held out her hand and nodded, "I think I can manage to smile a little more than that."

Cheers broke out around the two as Antonio slipped the ring onto Caterina's finger, "Good," he mumbled to her, "because I think I'd be crushed if I had to wait years to see you looking happy."

"Don't worry," Caterina, making sure only Antonio could hear her over the cheers, "even if you are a _mentula_, I'm sure I can bring myself to enjoy your idiocy once in a while." As the realisation that she was picking on him dawned on Antonio, Caterina laughed lightly and placed a soft kiss on his cheek before carefully dismissing herself and leaving the Cathedral in search of her hopefully quiet office.

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><p>Oh jeez! I had no idea there was a site for Latin swears… If your curious – mentula is a prickdickhead, add an 'e' and that's the female form.


	7. Chapter 6

Okie-dokie, just re-read the last chapter (because, yes, I do often lose my train of thought - the station moves damnit!). So~ from my gathering Antonio's been a proper gentleman for about 50 seconds, Francesco's still horribly scarred and Abel's sleepy. I feel I should fore-warn you all now - there's a rather 'experimental' chapter coming up soon where I'm testing your tolerance and my ability to turn graphic images into prose (don't worry, it's nothing too bad, I'm not completely crazy... yet).

Anywho - moving onto the next chapter - thanks to all the reviewers and a special thanks to tatsumi-hime who reviewed my other Trinity Blood ficlet 'collide', and told me to get my butt in gear and come back to the pretty-ness that is A Messy State of Affairs~. Sorry it's kinda short, but I'm gonna try and update again sometime this coming week - I have History homework again, and we all know how much I'd love an excuse not to do it XD

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><p>Caterina sighed, her gaze falling for the upteenth time to the ring on her finger. All day each of her appointments with various members of high society had fawned over it, most with awe and supportive cheer, some with sadness (although that had come from a select group of her political supporters she rather disliked so not really much of a loss there)1. However, as she looked at the blue-green stone imbedded into it, twisting her hand slightly so it shimmered in the light of her office, she thought back to several hours ago, when Antonio had formally proposed. When he had pulled her aside, she'd had her suspicions, but really, she hadn't thought it would make that much of a difference and was only doing what his mother told him.<p>

"Yet those words..." Caterina found herself smiling and shook her head softly. She must be going soft - was she really beginning to like the Hispania male? Surely not, just days ago the man had been top of her list of people she would incarcerate should she ever possess the power and backing to do so.

Getting up from her seat, Caterina opened one of the large windows and leaned on the wall beside it, enjoying the warm summer breeze floating in. Eyes closed, hands clasped loosely behind her back, with her long blond hair, now out of its curls, swaying softly around her lithe form, Caterina looked the image of a beautiful angel, the moonlight catching her skin and giving it an unearthly glow.

The sight took Abel's breath away, and all he could do in that moment was gaze at the stunning woman.

"You know, one day I really will mistake you for an angel come to whisk me off to heaven. Surely it's illegal to look so pretty," he commented lightly. Caterina started and snapped her eyes open to look at him before smiling and shaking her head and chuckling.

"You're such a tease, Abel. What are you doing here anyway?" she asked, pushing off the wall to approach him.

"I was having a peek through Her Majesty Sofia's plans and I noticed a mistake."

"A mistake?" Caterina blinked, also curious as to how Abel had seen the so called 'plans' but figured she probably didn't want to know what Abel had done.

"Yes, it appears there's no one to escort you down the isle - Lady Sofia seems under the impression her husband should do it," Abel answered smoothly, raising a hand to push some of Caterina's hair behind her ear so he could see her face more clearly.

Caterina raised an eyebrow, "Is there anything wrong with that? The father of the bride traditionally does it, yet my father is dead. I'd say she's being logical, Abel."

"Oh how you wound me, Caterina!" Abel exclaimed, pulling a face and placing his hand over his heart as though her words had been a lance.

"I'm afraid I don't follow," Caterina shook her head.

"Me! I wanna do it!" Abel said childishly, losing his earlier seriousness which subsequently also ruined the mood.

Caterina blinked a few times at the outburst before a smile bloomed across her lips, "It's almost as though you're upset for not getting to do anything but sit around and eat while I'm married off to Cardinal Borgia."

"You say that like you don't want me to had you over to the man, rather someone you know than an old fart who does whatever his wife tells him right?"

Caterina laughed, "Oh, Abel, you know I'd love for you to give me away." She reached out and took the man's hands gently in her own. "I shall ask Her Highness if it's possible - as long as you don't pick your nose around her I can't see the switch being too much of a problem," Caterina added with a smirk, making Abel chuckle.

~~~For some reason it feels like I'm missing someone... Oh muffincakes! We've forgotten Tres! *grabs a Tres chibi and tosses it into the playpen with the other messy affairs chibi* Haha! Fixed!~~~

In the far off land of Germania, a young looking male priest seemed to be patiently waiting for a train, the evening paper in hand. In reality, Tres Iqus was becoming rather impatient and longed for the 1863 seconds before his train would arrive to be over soon, even if that was a mathematical impossibility - he needed to get to the Duchess of Milan, something awful seemed afoot!

Unconsciously, Tres' fingers tightened around the article he had re-read a further three times since buying the paper originally. Upon the front was a sketch of inside Rome's cathedral, with two people in clerical vestments standing to the side of the alter, one kneeling before the other. Tres hadn't needed the caption above to recognise the figures as Antonio Borgia and Caterina Sforza, but that didn't make the Killing Doll any less confused. He had to get to Rome and uncover the meaning of this!

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><p>1) Felt I should point this out - in RAM V Caterina has a meeting with a load of fat, old, wealthy and perverted buzzards, one of which won't stop looking her up and down, particularly enjoying her legs. They're awful and Caterina knows it, but she needs their money and political influence and so has to put up with them.<p>

Also... yeah, for an obscure reason I can quiet easily imagine Abel, Tres and everyone else as little chibi's (they look like toddlers in height but still wear their normal clothes) that are trapped in a playpen with a big cartoon sign saying 'Messy Affairs' on it XD Caterina's playing with building blocks, Tres is very confused, Francesco was playing snap with Abel (Antonio's now explaining strip poker to them) and Professor's blowing bubbles out of a fake pipe. Ain't they cute? XDD


	8. Chapter 7

And once again I deliberate from my History homework in favour of fic writing~

Sorry this took longer than I thought, I'm not actually very girly so I spent a fair amount of time looking at dresses and shoes and trying not to poke my eyes out... thankfully they are still in tact :)

Thanks to reviewers and the 'get your butt in gear' from tatsumi-hime. Have you thought of getting an account tatsumi-hime? I feel bad that I can't message you saying 'yes boss' or 'I'm working on it as we speak'. Yeah, I'm sad, but meh, lazy is probably the operative word, followed by 'plot-bunny assault course'.

Anywho - read on there is fic to be read!

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><p>Idly, Caterina wondered if Tres should be capable of feeling this strongly about anything - yes the cyborg tended to be rather 'sensitive' when Caterina was involved... But did that honestly warrant him to storm through her offices, shoving his pistols at any poor soul who tried to deter him, including Abel who had only said 'welcome back, Tr-ah!' before a gun's muzzle was placed between his eyebrows.<p>

Luckily for the poor priest, Caterina had been talking to Sister Loretta and so had seen the scene unfold, quickly ordering Tres into her office. Now she was sat behind her desk attempting to argue with the partially deranged Killing Doll.

"Tres, I understand where you're coming from, but the situation is completely out of my control and thus your jurisdiction - there's nothing that can be done," Caterina said with a sigh, trying futilely to put an end to Tres' argument.

"But, My Lady, if you concede your political standing will diminish," Tres tried, unable to understand why she was being so submissive. "How can My Lady willingly relinquish so much power?"

"Do I really come off as _that_ power-hungry?" Caterina asked rhetorically before shaking her head. "It's not really that much of a drop in the ranks, Tres. I'd lose far support by _not _marrying Cardinal Borgia than I will by doing so."

As Tres processed her words, Caterina studied her machine, vaguely intrigued by the flickers of emotion flashing on Tres' face - apparently the limiter inside him could only prevent the weaker degrees of emotion humans experience.

"Could it be that you are troubled by the man that has been chosen for me, rather than the instability of my current position?" Caterina questioned causing Tres to start.

"M-my Lady..."

Caterina smiled softly and rose from her desk, slowly walking around until she stood beside Tres' seat. Tres automatically moved his arm at their proximity, allowing Caterina to perch on the arm of the chair, reaching out to caress Tres' face with one of her hands as she did so.

"Tres... Are you forgetting to whom you belong? You are my possession. Even if I lose all political influence, you are still mine and I will not allow you to be removed from my possession until I no longer breathe." Caterina hated using the word 'possession', Tres was practically human and she didn't enjoy the idea of owning another person, even if they did claim to be a machine.

"Yes... I am... I am a machine... The Duchess of Milan's... possession," Tres appeared to struggle with the words, his glass eyes clouding with emotion he wasn't meant to feel. Acting on impulse alone, Caterina leaned forward, planting a soft kiss to Tres' temple.

"I have to go and meet with Cardinal Borgia soon, do you wish to escort me, Tres or should I ask Professor?" she would have asked Abel, but it was a high-class restaurant and Antonio's parents would also be in attendance, best to keep Abel looking like a dutiful subordinate and not a goofy, childish man with a slight lack of respect and dignity.

Tres' response was immediate, "I will escort My Lady to her meeting with the cardinal."

Caterina smiled again, "Good. Then will you please wait outside for me while I change?"

Tres nodded and waited for Caterina to be standing before he too rose and left the room.

~~~Completely unrelated, but meh: When there's vampires... in the Vatican - who ya gonna call? Abel Nightroad!~~~

Almost an hour later, Caterina was dressed in a sleek evening gown, checking herself in the mirror for the umpteenth time, not because she was vain but because she was paranoid all hell was going to break loose and it would probably start with the way she looked.

"You look fine, honestly Your Eminence," Sister Loretta told her boss.

Caterina sighed and turned away from her reflection, the dress' skirt swishing around her knees as she did so. "Remind me why I agreed to this again?" Caterina said with a half groan.

"Something about us needing to be seen together, acting like we're in love and other such nonsense Madre came up with," Antonio said coming through the door, eyes firmly locked on his cuff-link.

"Joy. And you can look – I'm ready," Caterina added, half regretting it when Antonio's eyes snaked up her, drinking in each detail of her outfit. The dress itself was made of silk and midnight blue in colour reaching Caterina's mid-calf, revealing complex-looking sandals which secured the duchess' foot with an array of leather straps. The material clung to Caterina's body in an attractive way, with her hair carefully tied in an elaborate high ponytail, secured by plaits of her own hair tied around the base. The dress was also sleeveless and so Caterina was donning long gloves that were cut off at the fingers and thumb.

"You look stunning," Antonio breathed when his brain reminded him breathing and speaking were good investments.

"Thank you," Caterina said with a smile as she admired Antonio's carefully tailored suit. "You don't look half-bad either."

Antonio shrugged. "White trousers, a fancy shirt and a dinner jacket. I wore them all the time before joining up with the Vatican so it isn't as though I'm not used to it. I'll bet it's a farce for you to get ready though."

"Yes, though I'm beginning to wish I'd decided to bear it and wear heels," Caterina commented looking up at Antonio. She knew the man was taller than her, but there was more than a head's difference between them now. Granted Abel was taller still but she felt safe rather than short with him.

"You're not that small, besides," Antonio commented, waving his hand theatrically, "how women even walk in some heels let alone run, dance and stumble around drunkenly without breaking their neck I'll never know."

At this Caterina burst out laughing, hiding her smile behind her fist. "I'd say practise. If you want to give it a try though I'll lend you a pair."

"Nooooo thank you!" Antonio said holding his hands out in a 'stop' fashion. "Knowing my luck I'd get them on and land flat on my face."

Sister Loretta, who had also been chuckling at Antonio's remarks, caught sight of the time, "Oh Your Eminences, you should hurry or you'll be late!"

"You're right, Sister," Antonio said before holding his hand out to Caterina, "Well, my Lady, shall we go?"

Caterina resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she took Antonio's hand. "Flowery words won't get you far with me."

"Well someone would slap me if I tried 'yo bitch move your ass' wouldn't they?"

"Antonio, you talk too much."

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><p>And here is where I stop.<p>

Reviews are welcome and flames shall become target practise for Tres.


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